This is Me Wishing my Collars Were Attached to Shirts

by Sadie Bell

My therapist suggests I tell my depression
It’s not welcome in my house anymore
That might work, except depression is my house
It’s my safe place, my landlord and my hostage taker all in one

My anxiety smirks and informs me it paid rent this month and you can’t just kick
someone out, not after everything we’ve been through
Go ahead, it challenges, try and change the locks
You know I’ll slip through the cracks again

Sometimes I take my depression for a walk
I don’t need a leash though
Chemicals’ cold hands are the only things that can pry it from my side
This kind of happiness is prescribed-
Capsules and tablets and such

I didn’t sleep again last night and I can already tell
It’s going to be one of those days where every table edge wants to pick a fight
And every doorjamb wants a taste of my blood

My life is trying to climb up a slip n slide
A heart full of hurt but my pockets brim with antidotes